WHAT LESBIANISM IS:
- being a non-man attracted exclusively to non-men
WHAT IT IS NOT:
- a term for men/men aligned people to use
- an umbrella term for anyone attracted to women exclusively or not
- a term for bi/pan/mspec people with a female preference to use
FAQ:
1. “but the old definition used to be women attracted to women, why can’t we change the definition again?”
the original definition didn’t include nonbinary people so it was updated. the new definition still has the same meaning, “exclusive attraction to non-men”, it just uses more inclusive language. one of the problems with people wanting to update the definition to include male “lesbians” and bi/pan/mspec “lesbians” is that it completely differs from the original definition. if you need to change the definition of a term so much that it becomes a new one then the term probably wasn’t meant for you to begin with. stop trying to include men into lesbianism.
2. why bi/pan/mspec “lesbians” are harmful.
lesbians cannot be men or be attracted to men, it’s as simple as that. suggesting that lesbians can be attracted to men is very harmful and causes people to get hurt. if you are bi/pan/mspec and lean more towards women, that doesn’t give you the right to use the label lesbian. you’re still attracted to men. you just have a preference.3. why male “lesbians” are harmful.
men cannot have queer attraction to women. “queer is a word that describes sexual and gender identities other than straight and cisgender”(planned parenthood). i can’t believe i have to clarify this, but by definition a man’s attraction to women will never be queer. additionally, trans men cannot be lesbians because they’re men & saying otherwise is transphobic. no matter how long they used the label “lesbian” they cannot use it because it no longer fits them. it would be like saying since trans people identified as cis for so long, they can still identify with that label if it brings them comfort. and regarding multigendered people: as long as no part of them is man/male-aligned & they have exclusive attraction to non-men, they can use the label “lesbian”.4. regarding the split attraction model
the split attraction model is a method intended for asexual spectrum and aromantic spectrum people to help them describe their attraction. the model cannot be used with an aro/ace identity to go along side it. for example, the right way to use it would be “aromantic bisexual”. one of the sexuality labels must be an aro/ace label. lesbians cannot be attracted to men romantically or sexually. if your romantic or sexual attraction is bi/pan/mspec you’re just bi/pan/mspec. you cannot be considered a lesbian because you’re still attracted to men in some way.5. ”bi & lesbian were used interchangeably”
bisexual wasn’t recognized as a separate identity until fairly recently so of course sapphic non-men are going to share history. bisexual women were, and still are, often seen as lesbians if they were in wlw relationships. using the erasure of bisexuals as a way to validate “bi lesbians” invalidates activists who fought for their sexuality to be recognized.6. why saying “mono lesbian” is harmful
lesbian is inherently a monosexual term. all lesbians are monosexual so therefore “mono” lesbian doesn’t make sense. also it has been used by transphobic lesbians to exclude trans people from lesbianism. it’s also lesbophobic to call actual lesbians “mono” lesbians simply because we say that people attracted to men cannot be called lesbians.7. ”attraction to nonbinary people makes you mspec”
nonbinary is not a third gender but a category. we are not man or women so therefore we are already included in lesbianism and other monosexual identities. although there are those of us who are part man & woman. those who are part man/man-aligned cannot identify as a lesbian. all sexualities include nonbinary people. a lesbian or gay man attracted to nonbinary people doesn’t make them mspec.